It's been awhile since I posted. And, (warning) it's probably not the kind of post you would expect at this point.
Being in China has been the easy part of our journey so far. To call the last 3 weeks pure survival may be a bit of an overstatement...but it's the closest word to it that I can think of.
Let's just say I'm glad I'm not a first time mama. Joshua has the cute meter pegged and the personality contest wrapped up.
To call him an 'overcomer' is completely accurate.
To call him 'strong-willed' might not even come close. The two are inextricably linked. I don't think he could be the first without also being the latter.
Let's just say it's a good thing both Kevin & I are strong-willed, too.
I've debated about just what to share on my blog. Bloggers share what they want to share, feel led to share. No blogger shares everything. And sometimes blogs can leave a skewed view of reality. How to share, yet honor? How to be encouraging, yet real? That is the blogging challenge.
Adoption has been the biggest blessing of my life (being adopted by Christ). The second biggest blessing is my husband and next my children. I would never want to discourage anyone from stepping into this blessing called adoption. It has taught me more than anything else ever has...about how the Father loves and provides for and relates to and sees me. How inexhaustible His love for me is...and how He moved heaven and earth to have me. And, I have 3 wonderful children to boot who have added more good to our family and my life than I could ever encapsulate in words.
But when my Lord moved heaven and earth to have me as His daughter...He chose to die, and to die the most excruciating death. He suffered to bring me to Him. He denied Himself. He was separated from fellowship with His Father for a time. He was utterly alone in order to bring me to Himself.
With Lily's adoption the Lord let me see what it means to be the adopted, fully accepted and loved child of the King of Kings. I am seeing that this time, He is letting me experience it from a slightly different perspective. The pain and the isolation it took on Christ's part to bring the resurrection, restorative, life-giving power to His children. And, how no one understood why He was doing what He did.
Adoption is the greatest blessing...but it is also hard. It is exhausting, lonely, and some days plain hard. Well-meaning folks don't get your decisions and often try to talk you out of doing what you know must be done for the sake of the one for whom you are doing it. And the thing that keeps you going (only by the power of His Spirit) is the knowledge that what you are doing will redeem a life. You can't look at the present...you must 'fix your eyes on Jesus... who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross...' Hebrews 12:2
Am I rejoicing in this little guy? Absolutely. Is it easy? No way.
But for the joy set before me...I wake up each morning and know that I am one day closer to that joy set before me.