Part 12: This is the way. Walk in it.

If you are just joining me in my How God Brought Us to Luke series, and thinking: Part ???? Please go to this page and start at the top. Trust me...it will all make more sense when you start there! If you don't mind jumping in in the middle...have at it!

Five days after receiving Luke's file, that particular battle with the enemy and my flesh ended.

The peace that followed was incredibly sweet and virtually tangible.


I was slated to leave the next day for a Conference that I attend annually and I was looking forward to the time with the Lord. But a part of me was also a tad worried. You see, I've gone to this conference several years in a row and the Lord has always met with me...and dealt with me in the areas that were heaviest on my heart.

Obviously, Luke was heaviest on my heart. And, I just couldn't take anymore. I was worn out. I wanted a mental change of pace!

So imagine my dismay when it appeared that the Conference might have something to do with orphans or adoption! It didn't explicitly, but not knowing this, I immediately went to the Lord and laid my desire out before Him. I told Him that He knew that He and I had settled matters the day before. I'd committed to following Him...and I meant it! Lord, You couldn't possibly be bringing me here to talk about this...again! Could you? Please, Lord? No more...there can't possibly be anything left for You & I to discuss.

And, again, like He had faithfully done so many times in the days and weeks before...He answered me. He said, "Mandy, now that we've "settled" things, I've brought you here to teach you how to walk in these next days, weeks, months and years."

He was fulfilling a promise that has been so very dear to me these last years as I've found myself on unfamiliar territory:

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

The Conference was on Psalm 103 and the Lord made a list for me over those 3 days of how I am to walk. I was soooo excited! I eagerly wrote down everything He told me and was relieved to see He was giving me direction on the path that He had chosen for me.

When I got home, I rewrote the "list" so I would have it handy and available daily. As I started writing, I found myself laughing. These items that I found so profound....were actually nothing new! They wouldn't sound special for my circumstance to anyone who read them and they could easily make the Christian's Top Ten List of Walking with God (if that exists!). But I knew that these were my reminders, the principles my Lord had laid out for me for joyful, victorious walking with Him.

I'm sure I've stoked your curiosity. And because today, really every day, I need to hear them again...here they are:

1) Talk to myself...exhort myself (Ps 103:1) to choose to:

2) Remember what God has done (Ps 103:1)

3) Be thankful...recount all His benefits, tabulate them, heap them up! (Ps. 103:2)

4) Praise... instead of complain. Bless the Lord, O my soul! (all of Ps 103)

5) Tightly fix Your Word to myself (the belt of Truth, Eph. 6:14)

6) Have faith in God & His abilities...not my own (Ps. 103 is all praise of God & His abilities.)

5) Keeping praying & fasting. I am most protected when kneeling behind the shield of faith! (Eph 6)

7) Sing praises! (Ps 103...David was a musician and this was his song.)

8) Be confident in my Commander...be bold & stouthearted in Christ. (Ps 103:17-21, Eph. 6)

9) Remember Your purpose for me is that I would display Your victory and Your glory (Ps 103:17-21).

10) Do it again and again and again!

Aside from the How to Walk list, one other thing has stuck with me from that Conference...a quote from a workshop on Spiritual Warfare (of course!). The speaker said this:

I would rather live with the consequences of OBEDIENCE rather than the consequences of DISOBEDIENCE.

Wow! That is exactly what I got to in that Cry Room the Sunday before.

I leave you today with the a song the conference's worship leader wrote.

Remind Me

words and music by Gia Lucid

Take me to the place where my sins were forgiven - Show me the One who bore my shame - Take me to the place where blood and water flowed - The very blood that made my sinful heart white as snow

Remind me of Your sacrifice - When I won’t give my all to You - Remind me of the pain You bore - When I complain about all I’m going through - Remind me of Your nail pierced hands - When I won’t lift my hands in surrender - When I forget the reason I live - Remind me of the cross

It was my sin - That drove the nails - Into Your hands and feet - Still I manage to forget - But Lord, You’ve never forgotten me

In Him,

Turtle Leg

We've known for several months now that Lily had outgrown the socket on her leg.

We've sorta been buying time.

Time till she got a new socket...considering we are just now about done paying on the first one!!

Well, it's time!

(Lily getting casted for her new socket. Her mouth is closed?
We must have caught the only second she wasn't screaming!)

And that means time for a new look!

Tonight, Emma and I went hunting and came home with 2 fabrics.

We settled on this:


I think it is simply perfect because...weird Mandy factoid here...I kinda love turtles. Why? I don't know. Just do. {I'm sure there's some book that would psycho-analyze me and tell me why...but I'm not that interested.}

Won't it be too cute?!

In Him,

Thanks!

Thanks for praying!

He wasn't exactly cool as a cucumber, but he did have the opportunity to periodically sit in an air conditioned cruiser which kept his headache at bay and prevented nausea or worse yet...passing out!!

Thankful...

In Him,

Heat Advisory

Would you pray for my husband today?


As part of our Bring Luke Home efforts, he is working overtime today from 3:30 am to 5:00pm...outside. Yikes!

For those of you who don't live near us the temperatures today are in 100+ range w/ Excessive Heat Warnings. It is supposed to feel something like 120 out!

And let's just say that a police officer's uniform, complete with bullet proof vest, is anything but cool!

Needless to say this wife is a little concerned...and prayerful. And thankful for a husband who will do anything to bring his son home.

Please pray for his safety in this heat...

In Him,

Part 11: Doing Battle

If you are just joining me in my How God Brought Us to Luke series, and thinking: Part ???? Please go to this page and start at the top. Trust me...it will all make more sense when you start there! If you don't mind jumping in in the middle...have at it!

What I didn't think was possible was happening.

We had Luke's file!

I was looking at my answer to prayer. I knew what that meant. Luke was our son!

But the enemy of our souls saw an opportunity.

Up until this point everything had been preparation, theory, and talk without the ability to act upon it. Now, it was time for action. To put feet to all that the Lord had been preparing us for.

And Satan saw his opportunity to dissuade us from what I/we knew God had for us.

I knew battle had begun as soon as I called Kevin after receiving the email. Remember he'd thought it was all settled. Another family was looking at Luke's file. He figured they'd adopt him. It was over.

Now, here was Luke's file sitting in our inbox. And, Kevin knew about my fleece.

I could hear it in his voice when I called to tell him. He sounded like he was mentally shutting down. You see he had a whole lot going on at that point. Too much to type, but suffice it to say he was changing positions at work and that was consuming. Now, he had a major life decision before him, as well.

Me? I had my answer I was ready to call the doctors, get their opinions...do our due diligence so we could call and accept Luke.

But Kevin was obviously in...another place.

What?
Oh, my!
Lord, what is this?
Did I mess up?
Did I miss you?
Show me please!

The next day, the Lord, in His infinite graciousness gave me further confirmation. It would take way too long to type here, so I won't (and some of it I can't in a public forum like this). But peace flooded my soul as the Lord showed me again that Luke was His plan for us and we for him and that He, my Lord, was doing this...not me! He was orchestrating things that I couldn't in order to reassure me that this was His plan. No matter what my eyes saw (Red Sea in front, army behind). Or my ears heard (He's 4 days stinkin' dead).

That reassurance came the day after we received Luke's file. And in the midst of reassuring me He told me that He was doing something different in my husband and to be patient and wait. He would reassure Kevin, too.

I am so grateful the Lord gave me that because the next days were incredibly tough, tense, and silent in our house. Kevin said almost nothing about Luke for 3 days.

When he did speak the discussion centered around all of the Giant Facts. And that's when fear gripped my heart. We would have circular discussions with ourselves and each other that would start with something like:

What are we going to do about _____? or How will we afford________?

The reply...I don't know. OR We could____.

Followed by: But we can't afford that! OR We can't do this...

Then God's promises would speak. The TRUTH challenging the FACTS.

"I AM with you. I AM Jehovah Jireh (your Provider). I own the cattle on a thousand hills. I know all things, the future...all this...and I AM calling you. I WILL never leave you nor forsake you. This is not too difficult for ME. I WILL supply all your needs according to MY riches in glory. I AM good and everything I do is good. I don't need you to have it all figured out, I need you to be willing and obedient." And on and on and on.

And immediately after lining what we were seeing up against TRUTH, the enemy would come in with his darts, like a flood, and stir up the pot of questions and facts again. And we'd be back on the question circle.

This went on for days and days. And the oppression we both felt was unlike anything we have ever experienced before. It was tangible, physical, mental, exhausting. I felt like I was being crushed between millstones and confused by the voices of doubt and discouragement and choruses of "you can't do this" in a most disturbing way.

And as we went round and round and round...the Lord consistently, repetitively, lovingly would say one thing..."I AM with you. I WILL BE with you."

All of this time I knew what the Lord's will for us was. He'd already shown me by bringing us Luke's file. And, oh, how I wanted to bring Luke home! But in those days after we got his file, the enemy did everything he could to dissuade us. To scare us.

But God...Two of my favorite words in Scripture! But God, had a limit for those days of wrestling.

We got Luke's file on a Tuesday. I was shocked to see the other day that it was only 5 days later that the Lord and I had our "come to Jesus" moment. It felt sooooooooooooooo much longer than 5 days, that time of wrestling.

It was Sunday morning. I was at church in my little sanctuary...the Cry Room. Just me and Lily for a little while...and then a friend who allows me my space to worship quietly entered, too.

That morning, I came so worn out, battle weary. Worship started. And I heard the words. I've written here before about how the Lord has been challenging me not to simply sing the words to worship songs, but to live them. Mean them.

And the songs that morning were totally picked by the Spirit for me.

As I tried to sing the songs, I found myself kneeling face down on the floor sobbing. My Lord was challenging me gently but clearly.

Mandy, you have said that you would do anything I asked of you, that you will go where I send you. Mandy, you call Me your Friend, and that I AM; but I AM also your Master. When you gave your life to Me, you became My servant, My slave...and a slave does not choose where they go or what they do. As your Master, I AM telling you I want you to go to Luke...will you do it even though you can't figure out how?

As the Spirit was speaking these things to my heart, the words of the worship song playing around me said,

"I'll lay my life down for you."

And so there, in the Cry Room with Lily patting my head that was face to the ground, I told the Lord I was laying myself down before Him to do with as He wished. I was...I am...His and I will do what He asks. I laid myself down and then in my mind I got up and walked away from myself. All control was in His hands. It was finished. Done. The battle was over. I would no longer listen to the taunts of the enemy, but I would grab hold with both hands to the TRUTH that God is good and that everything He calls me to is good. And that there are exciting days of blessing ahead on the road called Obedience.

I walked out that morning...victorious.

In Him,

The Next Posts

I have been writing about how the Lord brought us to Luke for awhile now. I've needed to write about it in such detail for several reasons.

1) So I NEVER forget what the Lord has done in this and how He's led and spoken personally and powerfully to me. If the Lord tarries, I know He will give me plenty of opportunities in the future to practice what I'm learning now. Faith builds on faith. Just as Joshua set up memorial stones so Israel would not forget, I am erecting another one of my own.

2) For Luke. I want him to know how very much God loves him! How God moved in heaven and on earth to bring him home. And how big a plan God has for him as evidenced by how clearly God led us and how strongly the enemy fought against it. I want him to know that he has been a powerful move of God in my life. I want him to know how much he is wanted and loved by us and by his Heavenly Father.

3) To give God the glory! He is the One orchestrating, leading, moving, working. This is HIS story more than mine or Luke's. I want to shout HIS praise! Enough said!

4) To be real. I think some have the impression that this has been "easy." I want to be honest and say we wrestled through and to this. It has been a sweet struggle, but a struggle nonetheless. But on the other side has been blessing unspeakable and I know there are more to come.

5) To encourage my family in Christ...to trust God! Believe Him for WHO He is! To step out in obedience wherever He is calling you to step. You might not see beyond that step...but one thing is sure...He's there! It is the place of JOY! Do you want joy? Be crazy obedient. Die. And find Life. We cry out for revival...it's in obedience. In living beyond your abilities, in the place where it will only "work" if God shows up. And then you watch in awe & unspeakable joy as He moves and fills and speaks! Yes, He does speak. That's another thing I want His children to know. Put yourself in a place where you have to hear Him...and you will. Guaranteed.

I say all this because the next few posts are raw and real. I don't want to sugar-coat how we came to the assurance that we were to adopt Luke. We will share, as best we can, what we went through in the days following receiving Luke's file. We share it with the hope that others will see that the enemy of God attacks fiercely when he knows God is moving. His tactics are strong, discouraging, confusing, persistent, and, oh so, cleverly disguised. They create fear, confusion, doubt, rationalization, and seem very reasonable. But they don't leave peace. And I want to declare that the enemy is a loser. God is the Victor...and always will be!

This is the place the next posts come from.

In Him,

16 Years & Counting!!!

16 years ago on the 16th day of July...I married the man God masterfully created just for me!

God knew exactly what I would need and what I wouldn't! [He did make me after all!]

He knew I needed a good listener. In case you hadn't noticed, I can talk! And he can listen....for long durations! So much so that when we were dating in high school, my parents had a nickname for him...Mute Man. Hey, he was the strong, silent type! He still is the strong type (and not just in the physical sense...I dig that, though). Not nearly as silent, though. The listening part...still going strong!

He knew I needed someone who would ground me, counsel me, be patient with me, partner with me on some crazy adventures...and sometimes, tell me "no"! No matter how hair-brained my ideas have been...and let me tell you many of them have been very hair-brained in their raw state...he listens without laughing (too much) or automatically shutting them down.

He knew I'd need someone to make me laugh. I can be a tad serious, and he brings laughter and smiles to my world. The straight-faced delivery, the laughing at himself because He just knows he's funny. The "who? me?" innocence of a not-so-cleverly disguised prank. Tailor-made for this lady.

He knew I'd need someone who knew me better than I know myself. Living inside my head can be down-right confusing sometimes. {Can you believe that at my age I still can't decide what my favorite color is? (21, of course! We married when I was a mere 5 years old. I was a child bride!) I lean toward red, but green has some beautiful hues...and some really ugly ones. Blue...have you seen the color of the sky on a clear summer day? But red...it is the color of Jesus' blood shed for me! And, some great high heel shoes} Do you see what I mean?

Okay, I digress...

He knew I needed someone who's deepening love and obedience to the Lord inspires me! He knew I needed someone to share the secrets of my heart with...who would believe me when I say: "This is what the Lord is laying on my heart." Someone who would talk over the Word with me in the car, over dinner, on the couch, laying in bed, on the phone, while I cook...

He knew I needed someone who would let me sing (even though I can't really), sleep, escape, forget things and still love me, who would let me continue to grow.

I love this man of mine more each passing year. I am so thankful to the Lord for him. To the Lord for making Romans 8:28 true in our lives, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

He took our beginnings and made not just something that was good...but a marriage that is very good. And I am so thankful!

Praising Him!